Oh, No You Didn’t

Justifiable Felicide Narrowly Averted by Astute 6-yo, News at 11…

So I’m loading the dishwasher, when Yakko pipes up, “mommy, I have some disappointing news for you.  Eddy just ruined your knitting” (yes, he really talks that way).

I rush over to find that the little stripey bastardette has pulled the edge of the left sleeve of my almost-dry shrug off the end of the table and is merrily nomming the cast-on edge.  I chase her off, do some quick all-over reshaping, then inspect the edge.  I’ve mentioned how splitty this Plymouth Royale bamboo is, no?  Eddy had completely undone the twist in two adjacent scallops, and a single strand was broken away.

After imagining the whole thing slowly unraveling as I slowly killed the cat, a more constructive solution came to me, pleasing in its cosmic symmetry.  I went and got the superglue out of the Soft Paws kit and glued down the loose strand and glued in the twist.  So.  About an inch along the top of the sleeve is a little ragged and strangely crunchy upon close inspection, but the Glory of the Whole should distract nicely from it.

And the shrug will just have to finish drying folded up on top of my dresser where no cat treads.  It’s lace.  There will be enough ventilation.

OK Kids, You Can Exit the Freezer Now

Okay.  Temper tantrum over.  It’s a new week, time to cultivate a new attitude and get some things done (which means logging off the computer, which I will, shortly.  I swear).

This weekend was nice.  We got family portraits done for the church directory on Sunday.  The only other professional family portrait we’ve ever had was for my BIL’s wedding 2 years ago.  Yakko had portraits done when he was 2 (he just turned 6), Wakko has had them exactly never, and Pokermon and I haven’t had a professional “couple” shot done since our wedding in 1995.

So we bit the bullet and spent a chunk on a photo package so that all the relatives can get spiffy pictures of us for Christmas this year — this should placate the grandparents for awhile at least.    I know that many of my parental peers have portraits of their kids done every 6-12 months as Official Documentation of the Wonders of Childhood to pass out to doting relatives, but I don’t know how they afford it.  Yeesh!  Still, I have to admit that these turned out really well.  The kids are freakin’ adorable.

The family portrait we had done 2 years ago showed me at the lowest weight I’d carried since my early 20s (I’ll be 35 next month).  I’d thought that my weight loss was effected by the paleolithic diet I was following at the time, but later efforts and experimentation demonstrated that the real agent was breastfeeding an infant, and the diet just gave that a boost.  I’ve dropped a bunch of weight right after both my babies were born, but within a few months of introducing solids it all came back.  So this family portrait shows me at the top the 80 pound yo-yo I’ve been riding for the last 7 years, and I’m working hard to make peace with it.

Lane Bryant helped — for realz, y’all.  I went in there Saturday and found a gorgeous cuddly knit dress that clings to what I like and skims over what I’d rather ignore.  Then the awesome saleslady rigorously measured me for a bra — oh yes she did.  My boobies retired from their 6-year lactational career in August and now have nothing better to do than be ornamental, so I gritted my teeth and submitted to an underwire.  The results of the grittin’ and submittin’ were spectacular, if I do say so.  I’ll have to save that bra for very special occasions, as I don’t think the world could function properly if distracted by my décolletage on a daily basis.

In knittin’ news, the shrug is blocking! Engaged Cousin should be out this way on Wednesday, so I hope to get a nice photo shoot done then.  I took a picture of it all wet and laid out to dry, but an off-white creation on a background of white plastic doesn’t photograph very well.  I’ll have more dramatic images soon.

Is It Too Much to Ask…

• That my children put themselves into cryogenic suspension for 24 hours
• That my internet connection quit crapping out every 2 minutes (NO EXAGGERATION — who knows if this whine will ever see the light of day)
• That the remaining 2 Sookie Stackhouse novels wing their way from the library so that I can instantly wallow in bed and read them while my aforementioned darlings dream sweetly and SILENTLY in their frosty suspended animation
• That my every utterance be responded to with “yes, my Queen.  At once.”
• That I find a pair of comfortable and versatile shoes for under $50
• That I win a modest lottery earmarked exclusively for tea and a personal mp3 player.
• That I luxuriate in a free 30-minute foot massage
• That Wakko quit pulling on feline body parts
• That I snap out of this monstrous MOOD…

Seriously.  IS IT TOO MUCH TO ASK???

Stuff and Lace

Hmm. Haven’t really posted much for the past 2 months. There’s been lots going on in my li’l punkin head, but the musings were a bit too raw and personal to publish at the time. I’ll let the links on the new page speak for me on that issue.

I was also kind of catatonic during August. My mother went back to work Aug 1 and was able to resume driving shortly thereafter — which is miraculous and excellent and all good things. However, once I didn’t need to tend to her physical and emotional and administrative needs every hour, I kind of shut down. The kids watched TV and played computer games while I zoned out into mental hibernation/recuperation for awhile. I did re-start my yoga practice though, so that was good.

Once September started I realized that the kids were going stir crazy and the house was a wreck, and I just couldn’t get it together (I ignored a lot of phone calls and e-mails too — if you are amongst the dear friends who have tried to reach out to my Brick Wall lately, I apologize). I couldn’t seem to plug in. So I decided to let someone else do the thinking for me for a bit and re-joined the cult Flylady after a 5-year hiatus.  :-p

It’s helping.  The sheets are clean, the laundry is under control, and you can walk through the living room again.  I’ve even unpacked a few boxes that have been sitting around since we moved in February.  So that’s where the toothpaste was!  Now I’ve got to start getting these young’uns out of the house on a regular basis again, and life will be that much closer to normal.  I’m considering capoeira lessons for Yakko.  Can you believe he turned 6 yesterday?  Homeschooling is going really well — that’s the one thing I kept up even in hibernation mode, and he’s progressing beautifully.  Sweet little ADHD nutjob that he is.

Oh, and I got these shoes.  And they are awesome.  I just may get them in another color as well.  The pest control guy complimented them yesterday when he came out to kill a big-ass yellowjacket’s nest in the back yard.  Just Say No to Irritable Stinging Insects.

‘Tis the season to hear rumblings about NaNoWriMo.  I’ve never written fiction.  I had an idea for a ghost story about 8 years ago that I scribbled down in a composition book during my lunch hour, but I’ve never developed it.  Don’t know if there’s a 150 page novel there.  I’ll have to ponder this.  It’s daunting to consider, especially since I’ve never attempted so much as a short story since high school, but I was an English major in college fer cryin’ out loud.  I can write a mean analytical essay of Tudor-Stewart drama.  I just never took a fiction course.  But a brief perusal of the official site asserts that quantity is valued over quality in this endeavor, so if it’s supposed to suck…

Well.  If my pondering generates some additional plot points and an interesting character or two in the next month, I may go for it.  The shrug should be done by next week in plenty of time for EC’s wedding, so I’ll need something to do after the kids’ bedtime once the feverish p3tog, p4, yo, p1, yo, p4 has come to its glorious conclusion.

(Incidentally, this Time to Myself in the Evenings situation is a new and blissful development.  Wakko is phasing out his naps, which means he goes to bed at a decent hour in his very own bunk under Yakko now.  My evenings are free for the first time in 6 years.  It is effing amazing.)

But I digress!  Shrug progress.  Pictures.  Behold:

From sept08

From sept08

From sept08

I actually have 85% of the ends woven in and the pieces grafted together at this point, but I’m going to pick out the kitchener and re-do it. In an utterly insane attempt to reduce the number of ends to be woven in by 2, I grafted knit kitchener on reverse stockinette, thinking that it would just add visual interest if it was at all noticeable. Wrong! It looks like a damn zipper going up the back. I’ll be darned if I spend 4 months on my first Grown-Up Lace Project only to have an ugly line down the center of it. I can fix it in one (peaceful, idyllic, angels-sleeping-sweetly) evening if I’m careful.

I can’t wait to see it blocked.

And now, for something completely different:

From sept08

DIGNITY. UR DOIN IT WRONG.

Yeah, It’s Still Me

The olive green was pretty for awhile, but it was starting to suffocate me.  I thought I’d try something brighter and cleaner.  The header doesn’t thrill me, but at least it’s mine.  It’s always exciting to have so much room for improvement. 

ETA:  Cool new Ivy-cat header!  If I only had a photo editor, I could get rid of the eye booger.  Oh well, I still like.

Just One More. Probably. ;-)

Heather, this is all your fault!

- Choose a singer/band/group
- Answer using ONLY titles of songs by that singer/band/group
- Tag 7 more people. Or not.

I choose: Barenaked Ladies.  Y’ALL KNOW HOW I AM.

1. Are you male or female?  I’ll Be That Girl
2. Describe yourself.  The King of Bedside Manner
3. What do people feel when they’re around you? The Humor of the Situation
4. How would you describe your previous relationship? Grade 9
5. Describe your current relationship. Lovers in a Dangerous Time
6. Where would you want to be now? In the Drink
7. How do you feel about love? Wrap Your Arms Around Me
8. What’s your life like? Who Needs Sleep?
9. What would you ask for if you had only one wish? If I Had $1,000,000
10. Say something wise. Rule the World With Love

She’s Meme-ing and She Can’t Get Up!

A.) Go to musicoutfitters.com
B.) Enter the year you graduated from high school in the search function and get the list of 100 most popular songs of that year
C.) Bold the songs you like, strike through the ones you hate and underline your favorite. Do nothing to the ones you don’t remember (or don’t care about)

1. (Everything I Do) I Do It For You, Bryan Adams
2. I Wanna Sex You Up, Color Me Badd
3. Gonna Make You Sweat, C+C Music Factory
4. Rush Rush, Paula Abdul
5. One More Try, Timmy T
6. Unbelievable, EMF
7. More Than Words, Extreme
8. I Like The Way (The Kissing Game), Hi-Five
9. The First Time, Surface
10. Baby, Baby, Amy Grant
11. Motownphilly, Boyz II Men
12. Because I Love You (The Postman Song), Stevie B
13. Someday, Mariah Carey
14. High Enough, Damn Yankees
15. From A Distance, Bette Midler
16. All The Man That I Need, Whitney Houston
17. Right Here, Right Now, Jesus Jones
18. I Adore Mi Amor, Color Me Badd
19. Love Will Never Do (Without You), Janet Jackson
20. Good Vibrations, Marky Mark and The Funky Bunch Featuring Loleatta Holloway
21. Justify My Love, Madonna
22. Emotions, Mariah Carey
23. Joyride, Roxette
24. Romantic, Karyn White
25. I Don’t Wanna Cry, Mariah Carey
26. Hold You Tight, Tara Kemp
27. You’re In Love, Wilson Phillips
28. Every Heartbeat, Amy Grant
29. Sensitivity, Ralph Tresvant
30. Touch Me (All Night Long), Cathy Dennis
31. I’ve Been Thinking About You, Londonbeat
32. Do Anything, Natural Selection
33. Losing My Religion, R.E.M.
34. Coming Out Of The Dark. Gloria Estefan
35. Here We Go. C+C Music Factory
36. It Ain’t Over ‘Til It’s Over, Lenny Kravitz
37. Where Does My Heart Beat Now, Celine Dion
38. Summertime, D.J. Jazzy Jeff and The Fresh Prince
39. Wind Of Change, Scorpions
40. P.A.S.S.I.O.N., Rhythm Syndicate
41. The Promise Of A New Day, Paula Abdul
42. I’m Your Baby Tonight, Whitney Houston
43. Love Of A Lifetime, Firehouse
44. Fading Like A Flower (Every Time You Leave), Roxette
45. This House, Tracie Spencer
46. Hole Hearted, Extreme
47. Power Of Love-Love Power, Luther Vandross
48. Impulsive, Wilson Phillips
49. Love Is A Wonderful Thing, Michael Bolton
50. Rhythm Of My Heart, Rod Stewart
51. Things That Make You Go Hmmmm…, C+C Music Factory
52. I Touch Myself, Divinyls
53. Tom’s Diner, DMA
54. Iesha, Another Bad Creation
55. Something To Talk About, Bonnie Raitt
56. After The Rain, Nelson
57. Play That Funky Music, Vanilla Ice
58. Temptation, Corina
59. Can’t Stop This Thing We Started, Bryan Adams
60. I Can’t Wait Another Minute, Hi-Five
61. 3 A.M. Eternal, The KLF
62. Time, Love and Tenderness, Michael Bolton
63. Saideness Part I, Enigrna
64. Around The Way Girl, LL Cool J
65. I’ll Be There, Escape Club
66. Cream, Prince and The N.P.G.
67. Now That We Found Love, Heavy D. and The Boyz
68. Show Me The Way, Styx
69. Love Takes Time, Mariah Carey
70. Cry For Help, Rick Astley
71. The Way You Do The Things You Do, UB40
72. Here I Am (Come and Take Me), UB40
73. Signs, Tesla
74. Too Many Walls, Cathy Dennis
75. Crazy, Seal
76. I’ll Give All My Love To You, Keith Sweat
77. Place In This World, Michael W. Smith
78. Something To Believe In, Poison
79. Wicked Game, Chris Issak
80. Get Here, Oleta Adams
81. Round and Round, Tevin Campbell
82. Silent Lucidity, Queensryche
83. I’m Not In Love, Will To Power
84. Piece Of My Heart, Tara Kemp
85. Real Real Real, Jesus Jones
87. Just Another Dream, Cathy Dennis
88. Everybody Plays The Fool, Aaron Neville
88. Strike It Up, Black Box
89. Rico Suave, Gerardo
90. Disappear, INXS
91. Groove Is In The Heart, Deee-Lite
92. All This Time, Sting
93. The One and Only, Chesney Hawkes
94. O.P.P., Naughty By Nature
95. Freedom 90, George Michael
96. I Saw Red, Warrent
97. Miles Away, Winger
98. Do You Want Me, Salt-N-Pepa
99. The Motown Song, Rod Stewart
100. Shiny Happy People, R.E.M.